Prepare ye, prepare ye, for old news...
my fifth-favorite member of One Direction has become a damp piece of music history.
The least-involved-but-most-ethnic member of the band has gone Whatever Direction He Wants, and 4 albums are screaming at us from 5 years of insane infatuation. You probably read some of the news articles about crazy fans, because we all like a little dose of outlandish girls...safe reminder that we're past our teenage days, right?
Well, yeah, unless you were IN them. That's right, you're talking to a girl with a famous Vine that hit Buzzfeed, swooped in on US Weekly, and made it to Irish tv and E! News. It was a solid 24 hours for my Vine feed, hitting 1.5 million loops (so far...cue freakout because I've never had 1 million ANYTHING before) and now I'm a semi-celebrity because old people who follow US Weekly have been sending my 40-something parents links to their "famous daughters" viral meltdown.
And those parents are absentmindedly proud of me.
Thing to be even more proud of: the hate.
People are backlashing like Indiana Jones and I'm one of those mummy freakshow things. I mean, how hard is it to read my "I'm not serious" bio and understand the satire of my Zaynperience? People, calm yourselves. Sheesh.
Excuse me, I'm 19. I'll take the sympathy, though.
True, he is breathing af. But little do you know of the surefire death that is approaching this entire scenario. Yesterday I read a sad Tweet that said "what if Zayn left" from 5ish days ago, and I almost truly felt the wrath of this situation. But all it takes is covering Z's entire PRESENCE in whatever 1D poster you have in your room, and then you're set.
Anyway, I'll spare you the introduction of us as the Ladies of Morgan. After all the dust settles and the events from yesterdays funeral (yes, I hosted a Zayn Malik funeral, which also got a lot of local on-campus hate) are put to rest (lol), we'll give you a little taste of the real us.
Maybe this is the real us, and I'm kidding you by making you believe, in any degree, that we're a group of normal humans.
But anyway,
bye.
-A
No comments:
Post a Comment